health mentally

It is hard to put a positive spin on the stigma that surrounds mental health – but we all have mental health. If you have a brain, you have mental health and some of us suffer ill mental health. That doesn’t mean some are entirely broken or damaged, but need help, guidance, love, support and assistance. An open mind and lots of understanding.  Sometimes being honest and saying you are not sure how to deal with things, is the perfect place to start.

We all should look after our mental health. I feel that sometimes the stigma around mental health and mental illness is the because of the wording used so freely by the media and on social media that those dealing with ill mental health all fit under one umbrella. This is not the case. We all have mental health issues, we feel happy, sad and can have emotional days and mood swings.  Some are caused by hormones and some can eventuate from experiences in life, or a trauma, leaving us with emotions that we don’t understand.  Whilst there are many that have illnesses that are hereditary or just part of our DNA make up, I believe that we need to discuss the importance of looking after our mental health with our kids from when they are old enough to understand, so that it isn't something bad, similar to how we encourage looking after our physical health.  Healthy in both body and mind are important to achieve homeostasis. Balance.

There is a lot of pressure to be “normal”! To be like everyone else. I like the idea of being different, unique and being ME. It has taken me a while to come to this conclusion (dealing with many demons) and getting caught up in the rut of how I should look, be, act a certain way etc. To keep WHO happy? Lets educate others that being different is a great thing, we dont all want to be the same!  Make different normal.

Who depicts what is normal anyways?  Focusing on being healthy, happy and enjoying life to the fullest is important, but also understanding that everyday doesn’t have to be a happy and productive/efficient kind of day, that rolling with emotions is how the brain works and to let you know that you are human and have to deal with stress, mindset and emotions. 

Having mental health issues are completely ok and many have them, just in different ways and that makes us all unique, because you are you and you are fantastic, the world really is a better place with you as you. I tell this to myself when I get caught up with any negative thoughts – the latest I have include things like, “am I a good mum to Maddison”, “does my husband still find me attractive after getting older and putting on weight”, “am I really good at my job”, and the big one at the moment is about my fitness, letting go of who I used to be and be happy with how I am now, yes I am older, have injuries and more bodyfat than I would like, I am slowly getting back to being stronger physically and I think this is helping me mentally, not going on the roundabout of “I used to be this”.…

So I try and focus on all the positive things in my life daily. What am I grateful for today (not last week)I ask myself each morning, this sets me up for a more positive thinking kind of day. I know I have to challenge myself to keep from having the black dog around, but if he visits, that is ok because he has been around before and I know how I can be with him there and know how to send him on his way. I even realise that he comes sometimes like my subconscious mind is trying to let me know I am not dealing with something properly and it is affecting my mental health. I now know what I need to do to alleviate any depressive, anxious thoughts and feelings, it is quite empowering once I accept that I have had depression and mental health issues with anxiety since having Maddison.  This makes me realise that those who do have serious ill mental health are always not as lucky to have the light at the end of the tunnel or balance that I have at been lucky to have.

We need to give mental health more talk time. We need to make everyone realise that dealing with anxiety, depression and ill mental health is part of life, that many suffer and that they are not alone and there are many people out there who can help them talk through issues and hopefully get them to a better place, mentally. To know they have support, guidance and help if things get too out of control.

So what is the reason for this long winded brain dump?  Suicide. Suicide is the biggest killer in Australia at the moment. Not sharks, not car accidents, not cancer or heart disease. Suicide.  This word is also thrown around with mental illness and that matched makes it hard for people who haven’t suffered any mental health issues or know someone who has how big this is, why are our children thinking that life isn’t worth living? Because we don’t talk. We don’t give them a safe platform to talk and they feel like they have no options. Adults are under more pressure these days with work and family, money and expectations. Everything that happens is online now, so many opinions, judgements and everyone having an opinion and putting it out there for all to read. This isn’t healthy. We need to educate ALL about understanding more about their anxiety, depression or dark thoughts/demons and know that they can talk to anyone about anything without judgement.  I just wish we could see ourselves as others see us. Wouldn’t that be amazing.

Bullying and mental health are two issues that I really am drawn to lately. Having dealt with my own depression issues in London many years ago and having really bad anxiety and depression after Maddison was born, I can truly empathise with those who have bigger mental health issues, stigma needs to be removed, discussions need to happen. We need to make sure that everyone is truly ok and if someone says I’m fine, they are probably not. Keep talking, keep listening, always listen – people will think if you don’t listen to them they wont be heard by anyone, and that is not the case.