17 May 2015

One more sleep... finally!

Love counting down until a holiday and I feel after the shite that has gone down in the last few months a week off on an island with my amazing husband is going to be just what we need.

A week on Hamilton Island will be the kickstart we both need after a busy first half of the year. I look forward to no mobile phone reception, lots of fresh air, no public germ transport, walks, no tv,  kayaking, swimming & exploring before we come back to get stuck into our health & fitness kickstart Jones challenge. To shed the pounds we have stored (thinking we are bears going into hibernation) and getting us back on board the health & fitness wagon that we have jumped on and off the last year. Mentally, physically fit & healthy please.  Having turned 41 this year and wanting to start a family I think we have both been reminded that life is short and shit happens (miscarriage, two cousins with cancer and a horrible scare with my dad having a mild stroke a month ago).  We have to realise that we aren't getting any younger and need to stop being yo-yo with our healthy lifestyle.  

Look forward to blogging about the tough challenge because we will find it tough.   But for now I am getting ready to set the alarm for five glorious nights away with my hubby because we deserve it. Amen.

10 May 2015

Mother's Day - made it ok!

Another Hallmark holiday but a good reminder to give extra love & thanks to the woman who birthed you (or raised you), bathed you, wiped your backside and burped you and who was there for all the good and bad times growing up and even still as an adult.  Mum's are the best. I know mine is the best ever. So many stories I could tell you about growing up with mum being there for me,  it would take forever. 

I always feel a little sad as my mum isn't in the same city as me, but we chat often and see each other a few times a year & love buying something little to send her that I know she loves. This year was humbugs and Ginger Fudge from Hobart and a gorgeous printed scarf. Lovely.  I am so lucky and grateful that my mum is still here, where so many others don't have their mums with them. Grateful.

I have always wanted to be a mum.  There was a few years back in my early thirties that I honestly didn't think I would get the chance.  But so glad I do now.  I always wanted my child to experience all the great things in life and hopefully including a great friendship, love and bond with myself like my mum and I.  I have always been curious about pregnancy and to experience a life growing inside me.  I still find the process amazing by the way! Even though I know it can be tough and tiring. I have always wondered what it would be like to create a small person that looks at you and smiles, giggles with recognition, who will be comforted by you when they are sad or unwell and to share their achievements with you. 

Studying childcare donkeys years ago, I always wanted to work with children and at one point even wanted to become a midwife.    Working a lot with kids I always just assumed that one day I would become a mum, always wanted four boys (being a tom boy myself, thought they would be much easier to handle). Amazing how naive we can be when younger.  I never really met anyone that was forever material, let alone having children with them. Until now. I suppose I have grown up a lot in the last 10+ years and finally wanted to settle down with someone and get married and am excited that children could be on the cards, hopefully, if not, how many dogs can we have? I always thought, I hope my bod isn't past its use by date to conceive and carry a child.

I knew mother's day would be a tough day. A reminder that I am not a mum to be today. Today we would of been five months and a bit, 22 weeks +2days this weekend. Time seems to have gone so fast since we learnt that our little poppyseed wasn't growing anymore at 9weeks and it has really been an emotional roller coaster. I was so very happy to be having a child and now I am wondering if we will ever get pregnant again or have another miscarriage if we do try again, normal fears I know. I feel stronger as a person having felt so much love for poppyseed the instance I knew we were pregnant and nothing can take that feeling away.  I brought a little present for myself today for Mother's day, a little spiritual momento for our little angel which made me feel grateful for the experience to feel so much love. Grateful indeed. Our time will come.  

Watching Drew coach his football team today,  and witnessing his passion, pride and dedication to the boys, my WAG bestie Sas, who was watching her partner play said "Drew is such a good coach isn't he?", to which I agreed and said, "Yes, yes he is!  He will make such a great Dad one day too" feeling so grateful to have this beautiful man in my life.  Yes, yes he will and I cannot wait for that day to arrive.
My Blue Topaz Ring I brought myself today. Beautiful.

Week 18 #fmsphotoaday

Cannot believe we are in May already and I am posting Week 18 from Fat Mum Slim's photo-a-day challenge, I do believe this is the first time I have stuck to every month since starting the challenge a few years ago (I started it at the end of another 365 photo-a-day challenge).  This week was a little challenging as I wasn't feeling very inspired but managed to capture a few things.

27 In My Bedroom
Had a little clean out and found the secret hiding place I put our wedding certificate last year.  Good to know where it is now in my bedroom.

28 Prepare
Martin Place the night before the execution of Andrew Chan and Myuran Sukumaran in Bali.  A moving vigil for people to come together and pray for a final miracle for these two boys to not be shot by firing squad.  Sad that capital punishment is still functioning in many countries. 

29 I walked here
Have been lacing up the new sneakers and pounding the pavement a lot more, walking here, walking there wherever I can walk.  Get those steps up.

30 Need
We so needed these mini cakes and champers at the Karen Walker event at Myers this week.  Sarah needed to do some shopping and we were very overdue for a catch-up.  Perfect combination.  We ended up having dinner and wine at Cloudy Bay in Westfields. Need.

1 May Want
This time last year we were on our honeymoon in Thailand. Today I want to be back there, to this moment again.

2 Faceless self-portrait
Took this selfie snap a couple weeks ago when going out and about on a warm sunny day.  Trying to capture the strapless dress and my mixed tan lines!!  Gorgeous dress from St Frock!

3 A cup of
Tea does wonders for the soul. Anytime, anywhere.