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Showing posts from December, 2015

Reflections of 2015

Coming to the end of the year and I always like to reflect on the past 365 days and think about what have I learnt, also taking note of the thoughts/feelings/actions I need to let go heading into 2016. Planning challenges & goals for the new year. 2015 truly has been a year of learning patience and realising that family and friends are truly invaluable. Trusting my instincts at times when I didn't want to accept the truth was tough for me and I started not to trust myself at all. I didn't realise that the goal posts hadn't moved, I had. I have learnt that choice is something we do really have within. I can choose how I react to anything that happens in my life and know that the happy days should be enjoyed without feeling guilty and the dark days make me deal with reality and allow me to have gratitude for the truly important people and experiences in my life. I withdrew from society this year as I didn't know how to "just be". I struggled with being my

Heartbroken

14.12.15 Baby G - I sit here in the emergency department and hope and pray that you are ok. It is amazing how much love and connection you can feel straight away when you find out you are expecting. You notice the immediate changes in your body and know that life isn't going to be the same again. This time things felt different and i knew straight away you were going to be a girl. I am happy no matter what sex you are as i know you will make me and your dad so very happy. Please fight little BG, we love you and look forward to seeing you on the screen next week to make sure you are big and strong at six weeks 5 days. Love Mumma xoxo 15.12.15 So unfortunately Baby G won't be joining us and I cannot believe we are here again. Should we have waited to try again? The specialists and doctors all gave us the green light to try again and now I have to wait to see if nature will take her course or will I need another evacuation procedure. I am so calm it is frightening - when I do