18 April 2019

health mentally

It is hard to put a positive spin on the stigma that surrounds mental health – but we all have mental health. If you have a brain, you have mental health and some of us suffer ill mental health. That doesn’t mean some are entirely broken or damaged, but need help, guidance, love, support and assistance. An open mind and lots of understanding.  Sometimes being honest and saying you are not sure how to deal with things, is the perfect place to start.

We all should look after our mental health. I feel that sometimes the stigma around mental health and mental illness is the because of the wording used so freely by the media and on social media that those dealing with ill mental health all fit under one umbrella. This is not the case. We all have mental health issues, we feel happy, sad and can have emotional days and mood swings.  Some are caused by hormones and some can eventuate from experiences in life, or a trauma, leaving us with emotions that we don’t understand.  Whilst there are many that have illnesses that are hereditary or just part of our DNA make up, I believe that we need to discuss the importance of looking after our mental health with our kids from when they are old enough to understand, so that it isn't something bad, similar to how we encourage looking after our physical health.  Healthy in both body and mind are important to achieve homeostasis. Balance.

There is a lot of pressure to be “normal”! To be like everyone else. I like the idea of being different, unique and being ME. It has taken me a while to come to this conclusion (dealing with many demons) and getting caught up in the rut of how I should look, be, act a certain way etc. To keep WHO happy? Lets educate others that being different is a great thing, we dont all want to be the same!  Make different normal.

Who depicts what is normal anyways?  Focusing on being healthy, happy and enjoying life to the fullest is important, but also understanding that everyday doesn’t have to be a happy and productive/efficient kind of day, that rolling with emotions is how the brain works and to let you know that you are human and have to deal with stress, mindset and emotions. 

Having mental health issues are completely ok and many have them, just in different ways and that makes us all unique, because you are you and you are fantastic, the world really is a better place with you as you. I tell this to myself when I get caught up with any negative thoughts – the latest I have include things like, “am I a good mum to Maddison”, “does my husband still find me attractive after getting older and putting on weight”, “am I really good at my job”, and the big one at the moment is about my fitness, letting go of who I used to be and be happy with how I am now, yes I am older, have injuries and more bodyfat than I would like, I am slowly getting back to being stronger physically and I think this is helping me mentally, not going on the roundabout of “I used to be this”.…

So I try and focus on all the positive things in my life daily. What am I grateful for today (not last week)I ask myself each morning, this sets me up for a more positive thinking kind of day. I know I have to challenge myself to keep from having the black dog around, but if he visits, that is ok because he has been around before and I know how I can be with him there and know how to send him on his way. I even realise that he comes sometimes like my subconscious mind is trying to let me know I am not dealing with something properly and it is affecting my mental health. I now know what I need to do to alleviate any depressive, anxious thoughts and feelings, it is quite empowering once I accept that I have had depression and mental health issues with anxiety since having Maddison.  This makes me realise that those who do have serious ill mental health are always not as lucky to have the light at the end of the tunnel or balance that I have at been lucky to have.

We need to give mental health more talk time. We need to make everyone realise that dealing with anxiety, depression and ill mental health is part of life, that many suffer and that they are not alone and there are many people out there who can help them talk through issues and hopefully get them to a better place, mentally. To know they have support, guidance and help if things get too out of control.

So what is the reason for this long winded brain dump?  Suicide. Suicide is the biggest killer in Australia at the moment. Not sharks, not car accidents, not cancer or heart disease. Suicide.  This word is also thrown around with mental illness and that matched makes it hard for people who haven’t suffered any mental health issues or know someone who has how big this is, why are our children thinking that life isn’t worth living? Because we don’t talk. We don’t give them a safe platform to talk and they feel like they have no options. Adults are under more pressure these days with work and family, money and expectations. Everything that happens is online now, so many opinions, judgements and everyone having an opinion and putting it out there for all to read. This isn’t healthy. We need to educate ALL about understanding more about their anxiety, depression or dark thoughts/demons and know that they can talk to anyone about anything without judgement.  I just wish we could see ourselves as others see us. Wouldn’t that be amazing.

Bullying and mental health are two issues that I really am drawn to lately. Having dealt with my own depression issues in London many years ago and having really bad anxiety and depression after Maddison was born, I can truly empathise with those who have bigger mental health issues, stigma needs to be removed, discussions need to happen. We need to make sure that everyone is truly ok and if someone says I’m fine, they are probably not. Keep talking, keep listening, always listen – people will think if you don’t listen to them they wont be heard by anyone, and that is not the case.

28 December 2018


Can you believe in three days it will be 2019?!

Now I normally don't believe in New Years resolutions- I believe readjusting goals is healthier and  achievable.

2018 was a blur for me really when it came to my health and fitness goals. I really struggled with getting motivated and achieving goals.

Things I achieved in 2018:
* managed my anxiety and had less panic attacks in the second half of the year due to mindfulness
* relaxed more and didn't set my expectations too high
* averaged two workouts every week one yoga and one weights or HIIT
* let go of toxic thoughts focused on the positive
* started filming myself after sessions and posting on social media for motivation and to keep me accountable and honest
* took more time out for self care
* lots of fun activities with my daughter

No point going over what I didn't achieve as it is in the past and I am not using up any energy focusing on what hasn't  happened.

2019 will look like this:
* planning, organisation to be healthy with food prep and getting my training done, No excuses
* playing with my daughter and scoping out new play areas/parks/water parks for weekly play
* Jonesfit will be in the house daily
* moving the body more to get stronger and drop body fat and increasing muscle mass
* January will be the start of no sugar. No wine or beer also for January
* blog more and film workouts and my progress
* have some amazing outfits in my wardrobe screaming to be worn
* being a healthy role model for my daughter
* reducing negative thoughts and doubt

I know I am enough.

I am strong and can achieve anything I desire.

I only report to myself.


Follow me as I change my mindset, body and health:


20 August 2018


The struggle is real.

Getting healthy and under 80kgs is my goal.

Reducing my sugar intake, training more and strengthening my core, my body and my mind.

The struggle has been so real. I admit some of it is probably in my head.  Having struggled with depression before I wasn't surprised when it happened again after the birth of my first child.  I have struggled with anxiety and depression more after we had many heartbreaks trying for our daughter.  The fear of something happening to her has increased my anxiety and I have struggled with work and relationships for the past year and a half.  Life has changed and I too must change.

20months after having a baby I am still struggling to get rid of the fog, the stresses of working life and family life. It is real and not always just an excuse.  Unless you have had the fog and struggles, it is hard to "just" get things moving.  I have gone from 96.5kgs to 89.8kgs in a year, have reached a plateau now.  Before we tried to have a baby I was 79kgs, having put on a few kgs after not training so much.  Putting on 18kgs during the trying to get pregnant process really has been tough. My mental state mostly has suffered and the body is carrying more fat than it should be and I have adopted some unhealthy eating patterns which need to cease.

I have been slowly making changes with my patterns of thinking. My thought processes and confidence all play a part in getting me healthier, fitter and to being the best version of me, now. Not the person I was 8+years ago. My mindset and body are so different now and this is the canvas I must work with and adapt to suit.

#healthyformaddie is my challenge to get me in a better frame of body and mind so I can be the best mum for my daughter, Maddison and be around longer to see her grow!

5 January 2018

Sugar free

Sugar free started two days ago - give me strength!!  So far so good......
I inhaled sugar when pregnant and seems I am addicted......... no more excuses. Sugar is my weakness, I don't even enjoy it anymore. Now when I say "sugar free" I don't mean fruit- because fruit is awesome. I am talking about the packets of mint slices biscuits, blocks of chocolate, ice-cream, red licorice.......Sugar in my tea and diet/skim drinks/products.
#putdownthemintslice #sugarfree #iqs #healthyformaddie

31 July 2017

So many dresses!!!

Currently renting an old house in the Inner West of Sydney and dealing with a typical old house problem - mould. After sorting out the process with the landlord/real estate, we are now going through the treatment phase. This means making sure there is no mould on items before the treatment commences.

We have lost a few items to mould and yesterday I decided to finally go through the side of my wardrobe that I am not currently wearing - this is due to weather being winter, but mainly because they don't fit me anymore.

I have some amazing dresses from halter necks, maxi dresses, saba shifts and a few LBD's that are just sitting there, wanting to be worn and shown off. I could wear them in winter too with tights and a jacket. I have some truly stunning summer dresses from Frocked, formal dresses bought in the UK, Cue dresses brought that I wore to the Michelle Bridges end of challenge parties in 2010 (I did two rounds). I was pulling out these mould free dresses and just getting more and more excited about my fitmamma challenge starting today and expanding the clothes I will be able.to wear again. I have "started" many times in the last few months, but haven't been 100% committed, really just going through the process because I thought that is what I wanted to do, but wasn't ready.

Until now, see my previous post here. I have had the switch finally flick on and am super pumped, excited and confident.
Today is day one of cleanse  (green smoothie shot below  courtesy of my good friend Kobe). Reducing dairy, caffeine and eating clean and healthy. Eliminate all over processed and junk foods.
Back into the LBD like in the photo below, the evening before my wedding in 2014!!

28 July 2017

Mojo is BACK!!!

Had an interesting session at the gym this morning. I booked in for my free 30min PT session.  I have been feeling shit about my body and fitness.  I was thinking, I cannot get back my healthy leaner, fitter body, I have lost my mojo.

So, I booked in the 30min session thinking I was going to have to do regular PT sessions again to increase my strength and fitness and reduce my wobbly bits (bits not tits). WRONG.  I have been focusing on the CAN’T side of things instead of the CAN. In my head all I was focusing on was my old tired and injured body.  Not training regularly for the past 2 years has definitely taken its toll on both my body and my mind.  I had started believing that what I saw in the mirror had become who I was. WRONG again.

I had just faint memories of an energetic woman who loved the gym, who loved training and was super inspired to achieve her goals, and now even though there are some weak areas in the body due to many contributing factors she loved challenging herself, seemed a distant memory.  Pictures and events on Facebook kept popping up to remind me of these great achievements and they started making me feel even worse about myself. I tried to look at them as motivation, but I just felt defeated.  I know you cannot compare yourself to how things were 10 years ago… time changes and things in life happen.

My headspace has been taken over by becoming a mum. One of the most amazing experiences ever and it is like I shut down many other parts of my brain to use it for mum responsibilities (even trying to speak some days was a very hard task) and this brain shut down,  I think is totally acceptable!!  This little person arrives and I was functioning on little to no sleep and trying to feed this little person every couple hours, which took a couple hours and that was my day pretty much for three months.  So in that space of course I had lost my fitness mojo, replaced it with multi-tasking between sleeping, feeding, burping (the baby mostly) and staring at this amazing little mini-me (or in my case mini-drew, spitting image of my husband).  Yes, I had lost my fitness mojo, but fuck me it is worth it every time I look at Maddison. I am still amazed that at 42 years young I became a mum.  I became responsible for a little mini-person and  I had started accepting in a positive way that I was softer and wobblier than before I had her and that this was normal, this is ok. And you know what? It was ok, now it is time to get out of first and into second gear and start getting back into the swing of things fitness wise. No more excuses (the “I had a baby” excuse is 7months old).  I  had those first few crazy months to get my head around having a baby (still getting my head around it….). My body is still going through some pretty crazy changes (thanks hormones) and I honestly never thought I would find my fitness mojo again, until this morning.

After joining the gym two months ago, I had only been a handful of times and didn’t really feel the pump. I was struggling with finding ME time. Time for me to have away from home, work, family and concentrate on just ME. I felt guilty. I felt lost and torn.  I know making time for myself is healthy and should be a priority, but I was struggling and felt flat, lethargic and useless.

The light has finally switched on people and I feel the fire in my belly (not like heartburn when pregnant, a real excited desire to achieve)!  The desire to push myself has returned, the desire to rebuild this body, bit by bit, to strengthen the areas that have weakened or become tighter than ever before has returned. Things are going to be different and it is going to take some time to rebuild this new model, now , What shall I call her??

4 July 2017

Back to the grind......

After having nearly 8 months off work I went back yesterday to a great role in the city. I did so with mixed feelings - guilt, sadness and excitement.

I felt sooo guilty leaving my little Maddie after spending everyday with her since she was born - technically we haven't been apart for 16 months if you count womb time haha!! Lots of tears the last few days everytime I look at her and give her bottles to her. So happy that hubby/Dad is on paternity leave and they are having a great time together.... going to take some time to get used to leaving the house all day. 5am bottles and 530pm shower and bottles are the goal for me everyday.

Sad that I don't get to see her for all the hours in the day that I used too..... no singing play school everyday or having random moments and cuddles - that face!!! Love that face, her eyes just look at you and it is the best feeling in the world - she makes my heart beat so loud and proud to be her mum.

Excitement to be able to return to work and learn a new role in a new company with great culture and people. Wearing makeup and big girl clothes instead of trackies!! Catching the train and listening to music or reading having some me time feels good. Lunching with friends in the city and enjoying hot coffee and sitting down to eat breakfasts and lunches.

Still early days and have a long way to go on this transition from sahm to working mum. I know I will find a good balance and spend quality time with Maddie when I can.