Plodding along slowly but surely on the #jonesfit challenge. I know it is going to be a slow but steady challenge and I am happy to be the hare and not the tortoise (finally learning the art of patience & know that crash diets and sticking ones head in the sand and ignoring issues doesn't achieve as much as making slow and steady changes towards healthy living does).
I am feeling excited about getting my body & mind back into a healthier place. More yin (heart) and less yang (head). The thing about the body is it has a great memory - so am hoping it catches on soon and knows what to do.
I am enjoying the September challenges and I have to admit for the first time ever in my life I don't feel super overwelmed with the goals I have set or challenges I face. I am learning I think - and learning the effing hard way that is for sure. Hope this dosen't mean I am growing up!!!
Learning more about myself as I tackle these challenges makes me believe that I am capable of so much more than I thought. I have a strange "no fear" mentality at the moment. I suppose reaching rock bottom emotionally and physically after two missed miscarriages will do that to a gal.
The one thing I did learn from those counselling sessions earlier in the year after miscarriage 1 was all about triggers and how to react (if any) to them. This was a powerful shift for me mentally and I truly believe helped me get through this emotional time with teaching me some valuable lifelong tools.
Triggers can be fuckers. They can remind you that sometimes you might not be dealing with a situation or issue and can affect your mood in an instant.
Remembering that I am in charge helps this and I can choose how I react to a certain trigger. It is ok to have shit to deal with. I know I will always remember my two angels and somedays I will have trouble dealing with certain triggers like friends and people I know having babies around the times that I was due or hearing a newborn baby cry. I can ask myself how I am feeling and do I really need to "react" right now or am I ok. Whatever I decide is ok.
Day 8 into September and I feel that things are moving in the right direction - forwards and that is exactly where i need to be, right now.