30 January 2013

Anxiety, redundancy, isolation..... the joys of not working!

So many people would LOVE to not work and are envious of the fact that I am not currently working and whilst I did get a generous pay out, I still have to pay monthly bills, rent, loan, credit card, food, travel all the normal bills that is just eating away at my payout.  I have spent a little on great things like a new KING size bed, a trip to the Gold Coast with my gorgeous fiance and some good food and wine with the family at Christmas.

The hardest thing about having no job at the moment is finding things to do to keep busy.  Now most people that know me would find it hard to believe that I of all people would struggle with this. I do. I feel isolated and find it hard to get into the swing of things.  I feel guilty. I have so many ideas of things I want to do but there is that little voice in the back of my head that says I should be doing job hunting, building my networks and applying for roles.  I am happy so far with the roles I have applied for and the calls I have made, I know I have to be more patient (I was not standing anywhere near the door when they were handing out patience).

These are a few things I have noticed whilst "trying to keep busy":

1. Sock drawer and underwear drawer get tidied up (matching up socks)
2. Cupboards get re-organised
3. Anticipates the cat to talk back to me, any day now
4. You get Ellen withdrawals if you miss one show
5. You talk to random people at the bus stop, train station or the receptionist at the gym as you haven't had human contact for 4hrs
6. You join in the "fly catching" activity with the cat, so far Donna 3, Tiggy 2 (even though I don't eat mine.....)

I am extremely anxious some days and frustrated that the "finding work" part is a lot tougher than I thought it was going to be.  I have all this time to fill and part of me gets excited, motivated but any one little thing that goes wrong could set back that happy mood.  I find at least once a week I am quite emotional and not sure of what to do with myself.

I know it is super important to ride out these low days as they tend to be the day you can get so much clarity on some issues and get fabulous ideas and I am happy to say that I have more great days than not so great, which is a good thing.  People always being positive saying "you will get there", "you will find something" just doesn't help some days with that guilty feeling.

Having changed roles in the last two years means that I don't have exactly what people are looking for. I have lots of experience, but no tertiary degree. I have a mixed bag of knowledge. Just trying to get that foot in the door so they can see that I do have a lot more to offer than showing a piece of paper that I did over 10 years ago.

Realising that it might take some time to get a good job I have applied for temporary work, even this can take up to two weeks. The system surely has changed since I was last unemployed (1999).  Even to do a pub gig/cafe stint I have to do a RSA certificate....  volunteering options are full this time of year also.

So keeping my head up, feeling positive and doing my leg work on jobs, companies, contacting people that could connect me to their networks is all apart of my daily routine. The house is spotless, the cat is overfed and I am hitting the gym everyday.  Writing courses, seminars are being set up and executed and catch ups with other friends who are on maternity leave are also being planned.

Working next on my bucket list for 2013.

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