The Don's Meddle

A gorgeous day  today in Sydney after the weather people reported this week would be rain, rain & rain.  It was a warm day and the sun came out to play! Enjoyed a quiet day staying local and not heading anywhere that would be totally packed.  A nice late lunch in Redfern, which ended up being a great choice.as the Rabbitohs were training and we got to see the Burgess brothers stay back and talk to fans/sign kids shirts! Gorgeous boys they are #swoon After a slight wander in Redfern we drove to our favourite beach, Coogee for a little stroll along the beach and home to have a #gaytime icecream and chillax!!  Perfect Australia Day 2016.

Sometimes being brave isn’t really being brave but actually pretending you are ok. I thought I was being brave this week and turns out I was holding it all in. Pretending to be ok and knowing that deep down I was an emotional mess.   As a wise friend told me the other night over Japanese food the baby angels are “part of me now, you will always be a part of their memory” he said it in a much better way but it is true, they are part of my life, our life and memory, and some days are going to be tougher than others.  I thought if I didn’t consciously see or think of all the babies or pregnant women everywhere around me I would be ok.  Today I am feeling so very empty. We have had a few friends/colleagues recently celebrate pregnancy milestones and newborn cute little babies and I just feel that I have nothing to share or say, I just smile and say “congratulations” but it feels so fake, I can feel my fake face. It is so hard as I fe...

Am enjoying the monthly #fmsphotoaday challenge for 2016 and thought I would visit some of the photos I have snapped so far in 2016. I chose to do the theme black & white to capture things a little differently to start the year. Starting in Perth after a great break with the parents over Christmas and New Year I have enjoyed a quiet start to the new year with some touristy snaps around Sydney and enjoying the simple things in life. Nature is always a favourite to take a picture of and sharing it in black and white changes the feeling of the shot and it definitely makes me look at things in a different light. Sometimes we take colour for granted and seeing a gorgeous flower change from colour to black & white dosen't change its beauty - just your interpretation. Architecture and shots of people i always love seeing in black & white - can strengthen the shot and totally change the feel of the picture (not to mention hide any imperfections)! Our eyes are trained to see c...

January is ticking along nicely at day 20 of the new year. #Jonesfit2016 with the husband is tracking along really well also with us both eating better foods everyday, totally eliminating crap and moving the body at least  3 times a week.  I feel healthier already and have noticed an increase in energy, plus am sleeping through and not waking up as much worrying about things. We started weighing ourselves new years day and we have both dropped a few kgs which is great. Our incentive is to eat healthy, exercise more, be aware of our habits and drop bodyfat whilst getting fitter and stronger. We both have come in with some injuries and my hormones are all over the shop. So we are being realistic and doing everything we can that works for us. Last week I enjoyed swimming at icebergs, two 5km walks and a yoga session with Jillian Michaels. Felt god to get back on the exercise train after many, many, many months off. This week I started bootcamp with work - we have a great train...

Coming to the end of the year and I always like to reflect on the past 365 days and think about what have I learnt, also taking note of the thoughts/feelings/actions I need to let go heading into 2016. Planning challenges & goals for the new year. 2015 truly has been a year of learning patience and realising that family and friends are truly invaluable. Trusting my instincts at times when I didn't want to accept the truth was tough for me and I started not to trust myself at all. I didn't realise that the goal posts hadn't moved, I had. I have learnt that choice is something we do really have within. I can choose how I react to anything that happens in my life and know that the happy days should be enjoyed without feeling guilty and the dark days make me deal with reality and allow me to have gratitude for the truly important people and experiences in my life. I withdrew from society this year as I didn't know how to "just be". I struggled with being my...

14.12.15 Baby G - I sit here in the emergency department and hope and pray that you are ok. It is amazing how much love and connection you can feel straight away when you find out you are expecting. You notice the immediate changes in your body and know that life isn't going to be the same again. This time things felt different and i knew straight away you were going to be a girl. I am happy no matter what sex you are as i know you will make me and your dad so very happy. Please fight little BG, we love you and look forward to seeing you on the screen next week to make sure you are big and strong at six weeks 5 days. Love Mumma xoxo 15.12.15 So unfortunately Baby G won't be joining us and I cannot believe we are here again. Should we have waited to try again? The specialists and doctors all gave us the green light to try again and now I have to wait to see if nature will take her course or will I need another evacuation procedure. I am so calm it is frightening - when I do...

After many months I am finally reading Little Big Love's stories of loss, healing and hope after miscarriage. I feel I have healed quite a bit from my two losses this year. Sometimes I can go a whole day without thinking about my angels and somedays I have "what if" moments. I would highly recommend reading this book (link below) if you or someone you know has had a miscarriage, even though some people can forget about loss, the parents never will. I have started following a miscarriage closed group page on Facebook and so many woman from all over the world have shared their stories and the same theme seems to arise, they feel alone, isolated and feel they cannot turn to family and friends as they should have "gotten over it by now", or "get tild to just try again" and work colleagues who struggle to talk to them after they find out. This is a true struggle and women all over the globe feel like they are loosing their minds. Thank you Kelly Marchan...