The Don's Meddle

  With all the chaos of the world at the moment, my dreams have been a little all over the shop. I try not to watch too much media on COVID-19 and I have been watching a lot of Netflix, so the imagination doesn't need any more content!  But they have been very vivid and meaningful the last week or so.  I have always been a date person, I remember dates. Mainly birthdays (some I forget, some I remember like friends from high school)! Whatever is retained in my brain I will remember the dates and this includes the dates of my angels.   Sometimes it is like I do forget a little and for some reason the dates make me think for a second until I remember that is right, I know what that date is coming up. I do get a little teary and think about what we went through, but I know I am a stronger person and my spirituality lets me cope with our angels and I know they are somewhere and happy.  Not destined for us but we were able to have the happiness and love that came...

After many months I am finally reading Little Big Love's stories of loss, healing and hope after miscarriage. I feel I have healed quite a bit from my two losses this year. Sometimes I can go a whole day without thinking about my angels and somedays I have "what if" moments. I would highly recommend reading this book (link below) if you or someone you know has had a miscarriage, even though some people can forget about loss, the parents never will. I have started following a miscarriage closed group page on Facebook and so many woman from all over the world have shared their stories and the same theme seems to arise, they feel alone, isolated and feel they cannot turn to family and friends as they should have "gotten over it by now", or "get tild to just try again" and work colleagues who struggle to talk to them after they find out. This is a true struggle and women all over the globe feel like they are loosing their minds. Thank you Kelly Marchan...

This year truly has been a test of patience, sadness, disappointment, strength, determination, defeat and insanity.   I feel like I have lost a part of my heart, my identity and my body/fitness mojo as other areas of my body have been a priority. In amongst the sadness I have become a better version of myself even though I have managed to gain the most weight ever in the history of me, but it doesn’t consume me as it used too, because the weight gain is part of me. I have realised the importance of how so many other elements in life, such as love and true to the bone happiness are what counts.   I have learnt so much about myself and fallen in love even more with my husband as we have truly been tried and tested this year with what has possibly been the hardest, toughest time ever.   On this day of hope I share my heartache and send prayers to those who also have experienced heartache. 2015 surely has been an interesting year.  Looking back on this year so far I...